20 Things I Learned from 10 Years of Playing Roller Derby

I'll officially be hitting my 10-year derbyversary around late August, so here are 20 things I've learned over the past decade:

1. Uniform measurements lie. Always size up. ALWAYS.
2. Concussions can happen in a multitude of ways and are no joke.
3. No, coach is not giving you a hi-five; she’s actually just trying to get the star from you. Don’t make it awkward.
4. Jammers are only as good as their blockers’ willingness to accept responsibility.
5. The outside line WILL betray you. Tread carefully.
6. Face it: you earned that track cut. You always earn the track cuts.
7. Gender is a spectrum and so is sexuality.
8. Wheel durometer matters a lot less than you think it does.
9. When in doubt after a late-night practice: showerbeer. Also on the table: showerwine, showerlacroix, and showerkebab. (Don’t you judge me.)
10. There is no such thing as “just stopping by” an after party. You skip it or you prepare for an all-nighter.
11. Women need and deserve a space of their own (because: history), and no, co-ed does not mean more equal.
12. Stretching is as important as training.
13. All-natural or paleo diets aren’t nearly as effective as they claim to be, and processed foods are fine. Really.
14. Also, don’t cut carbs.
15. Most of the fittest, strongest women I’ve known do not look like those perfectly toned fitness models.
16. Just when you think you’ve mastered a new strategy, everything will change and there will be a new one to learn tomorrow.
17. Deadleg is real.
18. It’s ok to day-drink if it’s at an airport. Time doesn’t exist there.
19. Call me on a forearm once, shame on me; call me on a forearm twice, and I will bitch about it to my teammates for the rest of the night.
20. There is no hot tub in the hotel. Don’t get your hopes up.

[This piece originally appeared on The Sound of One Hand Slow-Clapping]